WWVM 12 Guidelines For Safe Sharing
Guideline 1: No Perpetrators
Perpetrators are not allowed at SIA meetings. We may talk about the incest, effects, memories, feelings, problems, recovery, dreams, or any other experience – but not on current or past adult perpetrating behaviors or sexual objectification, in practice or fantasy, for personal pleasure.
Guideline 2: Identifying
We focus on our own recovery and take our own inventory, not others’. It’s okay to identify with what another has said and share our personal experience on the same topic, but we do not name that person.
Guideline 3: ‘I’ Statements
We talk in ‘I’ statements. If you’re multiple or referring to you and your inner kids, feel free to share using the “We” voice, but let the group know that your “We” applies to you and not everyone else.
Guideline 4: Non-SIA Literature and Triggering Language
We care for fellow Survivors by announcing when we are going to read or quote non-SIA literature, share highly graphic abuse memories or use four-lettered language. When we share non-SIA literature, we relate it to our recovery from the disease of childhood mental, emotional, physical, and sexual trauma.
Note: mentioning tools we use, including therapies and other fellowships, and telling the non-graphic details of our stories do not require a trigger warning.
Guideline 5: Intense Emotions
We may safely express intense emotions – anyone may sob freely without interference, express anger, terror, shame or any other feeling through words, without risk of being asked to leave.
Guideline 6: No Discrimination
We do not express anger or criticism towards a group of people based on gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, affiliation, or disability. It is okay to share that we feel triggered by a group because they remind us of our abusers, but anger needs to be directed at the perpetrator specifically, not general groups.
Guideline 7: Communication Boundaries
We refrain from name calling, criticizing, gossip, talking about conflicts we may be having with other members, or violating communication boundaries. We place other Survivors’ needs on equal footing with our own in the context of the meeting.
Guideline 8: Anonymity
We don’t break anonymity about what was shared in the meeting outside of the meeting, or vice versa.
Guideline 9: No Cross Talk
We don’t cross talk, which includes:
No interrupting while others speak
No commenting on what others have said
No giving advice
No attempting to comfort others
Note: Using another person’s name when thanking them for their share is fine.
Guideline 10: Triggers
We attend meetings with the awareness that we may be triggered. Other Survivors’ words, vocal tones, and responses may make us feel that we are dealing with perpetrators. We don’t treat other Survivors as if they are abusers. If someone is triggering, we learn to deal with the evoked emotions responsibly by stepping away, setting boundaries with anyone who triggers us, taking evoked feelings back to the original abuse experiences, comforting our inner children, and refraining from gossip about being triggered by a fellow survivor.
Guideline 11: Safety and Courtesy at meetings
Please keep your device muted when not sharing. Avoid distracting movements/visual behaviors. Don’t use provocative screen saver photos or take screenshots.
Please act as if you are actually present with others in a room.
Guideline 12: Maintaining Relationship Boundaries
We refrain from making romantic or sexual advances towards any member.
Version November 2023
For more guidance, see the Guidelines Reference And Training Manual
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