

{"id":29081,"date":"2026-07-20T13:15:31","date_gmt":"2026-07-20T17:15:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/siawso.org\/?page_id=29081"},"modified":"2026-07-20T13:17:17","modified_gmt":"2026-07-20T17:17:17","slug":"12gfss-manual","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/siawso.org\/pt\/12gfss-manual\/","title":{"rendered":"WSC 12 Guidelines for Safe Sharing Training and Reference Document"},"content":{"rendered":"<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">A Note About This Document<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">This safety training document has been prepared by members of the SIA World Service Conference (WSC) Group Concerns Safety Subcommittee. Its purpose is to share why each SIA WSC safety guideline exists, and provide examples of statements that cross safety guidelines and those that do not. Please share it with your meeting\u2019s members and use the information when hosting\/moderating\/leading meetings when someone engages in a guideline infraction. This document was approved by the SIA Board of Trustees in 2021.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<h2 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 18pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:18pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">The Twelve Guidelines for Safe Sharing in SIA<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">The 12 Guidelines for Safe Sharing have been developed to keep our meetings a safe place for childhood sexual abuse survivors. Please follow the Guidelines during meetings, and in your communications with fellow Survivors outside of meetings.<\/span><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">These guidelines grow directly out of Traditions One and Two. Their purpose is to provide survivors with a framework for communicating in healthy, functional ways that are considerate of themselves and other survivors. Why? Simply stated, growing up we were not taught healthy ways of dealing with or communicating about our pain and conflict. When triggered it is easy to forget about mutually affirming communication transactions.<\/span><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Please don&#8217;t worry about not remembering a guideline. If you accidentally cross a guideline because you&#8217;re new, triggered or dissociated, the moderator will gently reread the guideline after your share is finished. Moreover, because it is the responsibility of all meeting members to maintain the safety of our rooms; if a moderator\/host\/secretary is unable to read a guideline, any member of the meeting may gently ask the moderator to reread the guideline after a share is completed.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Additionally, when giving a trigger alert for a possible guideline infraction (EG.: swearing, sharing highly graphic abuse events, quoting outside literature) please let listeners know what you are giving a trigger alert for, and pause for a few seconds so that people have time to take care of themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/div>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Finally, members who have been drinking, getting high or who are overly medicated are asked to refrain from sharing, and simply listen to the discussion.<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Diretriz 1: Sem perpetradores<\/strong><br>\n&nbsp;<\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">N\u00e3o \u00e9 permitida a presen\u00e7a de agressores nas reuni\u00f5es do SIA. Estamos aqui para nos curar das feridas do abuso sexual, compartilhando nossa experi\u00eancia, for\u00e7a e esperan\u00e7a. Podemos falar sobre o incesto, seus efeitos, nossas lembran\u00e7as, nossos sentimentos, nossos problemas, nossa recupera\u00e7\u00e3o, nossos sonhos ou qualquer outra experi\u00eancia, mas n\u00e3o sobre comportamentos atuais ou passados de adultos perpetradores, inclusive objetifica\u00e7\u00e3o sexual, na pr\u00e1tica ou na fantasia, para prazer pessoal.<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Explanation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">While all survivors \u201creact\u201d and turn the past into the present to varying degrees, we do not allow adult perpetration to be discussed at SIA meeting. The reason for this is simple: our space is meant to be one where survivors may heal from the wounds of underage sexual abuse. When survivors are required to share space with those who have been sexually abusive as adults, fear prevents feelings of safety and trust from emerging, thus making it difficult if not impossible to trust that meetings are a safe place to open up wounds and express the impact of childhood sexual abuse. While many feel that adult perpetrators deserve a safe place to heal from their sexual abuse, SIA meetings are not that place. Note, talking about what one was forced to do in a general fashion as a child or teen in the midst of the abusive family\/church\/school environment is not considered an infraction of this guideline if a trigger alert is provided, nor is talking about being trained\/socialized to engage in general forms of acting out and regretting\/struggling with that form of sexual behavior a violation of the guideline. That said, talking about abuse we initiated\/did to others as a teen is not a subject for an SIA general share meeting. It is appropriate though for sharing with a sponsor, recovery partner or therapist.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI dream of doing _________ with a teenager.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI like to do ______(sado-masochistic, or other forms of sexual activity that resemble abuse______ when engaged in sex.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI get turned on by ______(specific sexual or sexual objectification act)____.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI was raped by my brother as a child, and did the same to others afterward.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples:<\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI was forced to participate in sexual acting behaviors in my family, and I struggle with the fact that I can\u2019t engage in healthy sexual behaviors as an adult.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI am a sex addict and have acted out sexually until I got into recovery, and now I see where this unmanageability stems from.\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cAfter being raped by my brother, I acted out&nbsp; in ways that I regret.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Diretriz 2: Identifica\u00e7\u00e3o de<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">We keep the focus on our own recovery and take our own inventory, not other survivors&#8217;. It&#8217;s okay to identify with what another has said and share our personal experience about the same topic, but <\/span><u style=\"-webkit-text-decoration-skip:none; background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration-skip-ink:none; text-decoration:underline; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">we do not name that person<\/u><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\"> while we say that we are identifying.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><br>\n<strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Explanation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">When sharing we attempt to share our own stories, experiences, thoughts and feelings. Many times, upon hearing another\u2019s share at a meeting, we identify because we have had similar experiences. That said, we do not name that person when identifying for a simple reason: doing so may be triggering to the individual named. After sharing, doors often open to deeper feelings and thoughts; consequently, individuals may feel raw, challenged and in pain. Naming another, rather than the idea may set off further emotional flashbacks. Often, after sharing as children, our names were used prior to being punished or hurt. Equally bad, our names were often used during our sexual abuse. Further, using another\u2019s name when identifying may be viewed as dismissive or disagreeing with the person who first shared, especially if the identifying person had a different response, need or way of dealing with the idea\/feeling\/experience being shared about.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples:&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cYah, it\u2019s like Joe said, some days it\u2019s hard to get out of bed.\u201d&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI agree with Joe; it\u2019s hard to get out of bed some mornings.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples:&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cAs a survivor it\u2019s hard to get out of bed some days.\u201d&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI identify with what\u2019s been said earlier about how difficult it is to get out of bed some mornings. I remember . . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Diretriz 3: Declara\u00e7\u00f5es 'I'<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">We talk in &#8216;I&#8217; statements, not \u201cyou\u201d or \u201cwe\u201d statements. However, if you&#8217;re multiple or referring to you and your inner kids, feel free to share using the &#8220;We&#8221; voice, but please let the group know that your &#8220;We&#8221; applies to you and not everyone else.<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Explanation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Simply stated, survivors often struggle to be seen and heard. Moreover, many of us have built in defense mechanisms to avoid taking ownership of our feelings, thoughts and statements. We do not speak in the \u201cyou\u201d voice for several reasons. First, speaking in the \u201cyou\u201d voice tends to prevent ownership of one\u2019s feelings and thoughts (and many times resembles how our abusers communicated with us). Second, when using \u201cYou\u201d or \u201cWe,\u201d the speaking survivor can easily trigger others in the room who believe that the sharing survivor is trying to tell them what to do and control their behaviors. When triggered and raw \u201cYou and We\u201d can feel emotionally abusive, shaming, and can easily cause a triggered listener to believe that the sharing individual is trying to control them or is behaving like a perpetrator.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples:&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cYou know, when you feel ashamed the best way to deal with it is for you to go for a walk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cYou want to shout and scream when someone crosses your boundaries.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Conflict mediation: \u201cYou\u2019re a selfish person because you expect me to listen to your abuse stories but don\u2019t let me talk about my pain.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cWe need to resolve this issue now.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cWe want to go out and have fun.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Not providing a trigger-alert warning prior to sharing \u201cWe are thinking\/feeling . . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI know when I feel ashamed the best way for me to deal with it is to go for a walk.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI want to shout and scream when someone crosses my boundaries.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Conflict mediation: \u201c When I\u2019m not allowed to speak about my pain, when there\u2019s a lack of reciprocity, I feel that I don\u2019t matter, and that the other is behaving selfishly.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI need to resolve this issue now.\u201d or \u201cWe, and I\u2019m referring to me and my parts, need to resolve this issue now.\u201d<\/span><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cThe We of Me wants to go out and have fun.\u201d (no trigger alert needed when said this way)<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI\u2019m going to be using the \u2018we\u2019 voice to describe what my parts\/selves and I are thinking\u201d (and then when sharing thoughts \u201cWe\u201d is okay)<\/span><\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><br>\n<strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Diretriz 4: Literatura e linguagem de ativa\u00e7\u00e3o n\u00e3o relacionadas ao SIA<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">We care for fellow Survivors by trying to remember to announce when we are going to read or quote non-SIA literature, share highly graphic (explicit) abuse memories or use four-lettered language. When we share non-SIA literature, we relate it to our recovery from the disease of childhood mental, emotional, physical and sexual trauma.<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<h4 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 12pt 0pt 2pt; text-align: left;\"><em style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:italic; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Reading\/Quoting Non-SIA Literature<\/em><\/h4>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Please note the words, <\/span><u style=\"-webkit-text-decoration-skip:none; background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration-skip-ink:none; text-decoration:underline; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201creading or quoting\u201d <\/u><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">non-SIA literature. Many confuse sharing about one\u2019s practice of another healing modality\/approach, or referring to another 12-step fellowship one is a member of with crossing of this guideline. It is not. That person does not need to give a trigger-alert about \u201creading or quoting\u201d non-SIA literature. Similarly, since survivors tend to agree that our defensive protection behaviors are a direct result of our childhood abuse, there is no issue with talking about our membership in other 12-step programs, or struggles with acting out alcoholically, codependently, etcetera, and no need to provide a trigger alert if you share that you\u2019re a member of another 12-Step fellowship. If, however, one is naming advice from another 12-Step fellowship about how to conduct oneself a trigger warning is required. Further, when talking about non-SIA literature, we tie it in to our survivor challenges because we keep the focus of sharing at meetings on our recovery from childhood sexual abuse. Thus, when quoting a verse from a religion\u2019s holy book, we don\u2019t just share the quote. Rather, we tie-in the quote\u2019s idea to how it helps with our recovery processes as adult survivors.<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples that Require Trigger Warnings<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cJane Smith, in her book, Internal Family Systems, says\/writes that when dealing with triggered, exiled kid parts . . . \u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cAA says that when plagued by nasty memories, feelings and inner voices just ignore them, so that\u2019s what I do.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201c<\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Trigger alert: I\u2019m going to quote non-SIA religious literature, as it says in Philippians 4:13, \u201cI can do all things through him that strengthens me.\u201d (No tie in to survivor experiences)<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cAs it says in Philippians 4:13, \u2018I can do all things through him that strengthens me.\u2019\u201d&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI practice internal family systems work. Anyway, I was talking with one of my triggered, exiled kid parts and had to calm down one of the manager parts who wanted to shout at my inner kid.\u201d (note: quote does not say the book or author).<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI\u2019m a member of AA and when triggered by childhood abuse feelings, I want to drink.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cTrigger alert, something I\u2019ve learned in the AA fellowship is that it\u2019s okay for me to turn off the inner noise, and take a break from my feelings and memories.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cTrigger alert, I\u2019m going to quote non-SIA religious literature, as it says in Philippians 4:13, \u201cI can do all things through him that strengthens me.\u201d In other words, with my loving Higher Power\u2019s help, I\u2019m able to show up for any survivor challenge I face: panic attacks, PTSD triggers . . .\u201d&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<h4 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 12pt 0pt 2pt; text-align: left;\"><em style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:italic; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Sharing Highly Graphic (Explicit) Abuse Memories<\/em><\/h4>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">There is big difference between sharing our qualifiers for SIA (the abuse events that happened) and the graphic\/explicit details of such qualifying events. In SIA we <\/span><u style=\"-webkit-text-decoration-skip:none; background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration-skip-ink:none; text-decoration:underline; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">do allow<\/u><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\"> survivors to express explicit details and feelings about abuse as they need to be aired, but we provide trigger warnings prior to doing so about the nature of our share so that listeners can tuck their inner kid(s) away or mute their electronic devices if they are not in a place to hear graphic or explicit details.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples that Require Trigger Warnings.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cWhen my father and mother raped me, I was forced to suck their genitals and often passed out from lack of breath.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cWhen I was prostituted as a child, they filmed me being anally raped by five men who shouted, \u2018You want this Kid.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cIn the RA cult I was forced to watch people being killed, was blamed for their deaths, and then beaten and sodomized as punishment.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cMy priest would always touch me and one day in the church sanctuary he started to fondle me, saying \u2018You\u2019re a good girl. You like this don\u2019t you.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI was repeatedly raped by my father and mother between the ages of 4 \u2013 8 years of age;\u201d or,<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cTrigger alert for highly explicit details. (pause for couple seconds to give people chance to tuck in raw parts)&nbsp; I\u2019m going to share highly graphic abuse memories and I\u2019ll give everyone a little bit to take care of themselves before I continue. When my father and mother raped me, I was forced to suck their genitals and often passed out from lack of breath.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI was trafficked\/prostituted as a child and used to create child pornography:\u201d or,<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cTrigger alert for highly explicit details. (pause for couple seconds to give people chance to tuck in raw parts) I\u2019m going to share highly graphic abuse memories and I\u2019ll give everyone a little bit to take care of themselves before I continue When I was prostituted as a child, they filmed me being anally raped by five men who shouted, \u2018You want this Kid.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI\u2019m a ritual abuse survivor and was abused sexually, physically, emotionally and verbally.\u201d or,<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cTrigger alert for highly explicit details. (pause for couple seconds to give people chance to tuck in raw parts) In the RA cult I was forced to watch people being killed, was blamed for their deaths, and then beaten and sodomized as punishment.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cMy priest groomed and molested me in the church sanctuary.\u201d or,<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cTrigger alert for highly explicit details. (pause for couple seconds to give people chance to tuck in raw parts). My priest would always touch me and one day in the church sanctuary he started to fondle me, saying \u2018You\u2019re a good girl. You like this don\u2019t you.\u2019\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<h4 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 12pt 0pt 2pt; text-align: left;\"><em style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:italic; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Using Four-lettered Language<\/em><\/h4>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">We provide a trigger-warning prior to using four-lettered language for the simple reason: many of us were cussed at during our abuse, and many of our perpetrators were angry and loud while doing so. Thus, given our often raw feelings at meetings, we provide an alert so that folk who are already triggered can take care of themselves.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples that Require Trigger Warnings.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cShit! I am so f***ing angry at my abuser. I want them to suffer.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cTrigger alert, I\u2019m going to be using four-lettered language, and I\u2019ll give folk a moment to tuck away any triggered parts. Shit! I am so f***ing angry at my abuser. I want them to suffer.\u201d<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Diretriz 5: Emo\u00e7\u00f5es intensas<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Podemos expressar emo\u00e7\u00f5es intensas com seguran\u00e7a - qualquer pessoa pode solu\u00e7ar livremente sem interfer\u00eancia, expressar raiva, terror, vergonha ou qualquer outro sentimento por meio de palavras, sem correr o risco de ser convidada a se retirar.<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Explanation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">At meetings one may sob for one\u2019s entire share or express anger, terror or shame safely. Why? It\u2019s part of the healing process. Growing up most survivors had to swallow their feelings and learn to keep them at bay or risk being punished, abandoned or minimalized. Expressing emotions safely helps to rebuild self-esteem and the belief that we matter and deserve to be heard. That said, we do not harm ourselves or others when expressing feelings. We do not hit ourselves, or throw objects in open share meetings.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">If we hurt ourselves physically or hit or throw something at someone, it\u2019s not okay.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Simply stated, we may express any feeling that we want to.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-top: 14pt; margin-bottom: 4pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Diretriz 6: N\u00e3o discrimina\u00e7\u00e3o<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">N\u00e3o expressamos raiva ou cr\u00edtica contra um grupo de pessoas com base em g\u00eanero, etnia, orienta\u00e7\u00e3o sexual, religi\u00e3o, afilia\u00e7\u00e3o ou defici\u00eancia. N\u00e3o h\u00e1 problema em dizer que nos sentimos incomodados por um grupo porque ele nos faz lembrar de nossos agressores, mas a raiva precisa ser direcionada especificamente ao agressor, n\u00e3o a grupos em geral.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/div>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Explanation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">In SIA 12-Step rooms all members are equal. Our traditions remind us that everyone\u2019s needs are of equal value and that the unity of the group takes precedence over certain needs for self-expression by individual members. Therefore, we do not criticize groups of individuals. We may say what a group is doing and immediately tie it back in to our abuse by sharing how a group triggers us, or how they remind us of our treatment by our perpetrators, but anger and criticism need to be directed at our abusers, not general groups\/categories of people. This makes the room safe for all survivors to share and grow. Moreover, learning to deal with anger\/criticism (especially if it\u2019s intense) by taking triggered feelings back to the original abuse experiences is invaluable in helping us to learn to how to walk through emotional flashbacks and PTSD-triggers. Often, it\u2019s frightening to return feelings to their source because it\u2019s like telling our abusers that we\u2019re angry with them. When criticizing others in the present, often a childlike part of our psyches may be triggered, but it feels safer to criticize folk in the present rather than express the feelings towards those that hurt us. Part of our growth from victims to thrivers requires that we learn how to return the events, triggers and stirred-up emotions back to the original abuse experience.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples:<\/strong><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\"><span style=\"white-space:pre\"> <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cPresident Jake Frons and everyone belonging to his political party are selfish fools and need to be eliminated.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cThose who believe that lives can be taken while in the womb fail to adhere to the Christian value that every life matters.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cJake Frons\u2019 political party\u2019s legislation to protect their interests disturbs me. It reminds me of growing up in an abusive family where only the big people could set the rules, and the rules only took care of them. It makes me want to scream in frustration over how powerless I was then.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cThe recent news about certain states not limiting the right to abortion upsets me. It\u2019s tough for me to accept as a Christian, and also because when I was being abused as an adolescent by my uncle, I became pregnant and was forced to have an abortion. Every time I am reminded of this event it stirs me up because there was no one there to protect me.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><br>\n<strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Diretriz 7: Limites de comunica\u00e7\u00e3o<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">We respect and honor our fellow Survivors by refraining from name calling, criticizing, gossip, talking about conflicts we may be having with other members of the meetings we attend or violating communication boundaries when sharing at meetings. Likewise, we place other Survivors&#8217; needs on equal footing with our own in the context of the meeting.<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Explanation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">There are several reasons we refrain from criticizing and talking about others we have conflicts with in the fellowship. First, it may lead to intensification of conflicts, which in turn can come back to hurt our meeting\u2019s ability to serve as a place for all survivors to share safely. It can lead to side-taking. Second, gossiping and criticizing others limits our ability to grow and tends to reinforce feelings of victimization. Codependent triangulation and enmeshment result from growing up in dysfunctional, abusive families. Triangulation often represents a misplaced desire to have others rescue us from our challenges. With enmeshment, borders between ourselves and others tend to disappear. In this place, survivors will often turn others into beings they have unresolved issues with. For instance, an older female friend in SIA may become the mom we never had and when she doesn\u2019t behave like our internalized notion of how a loving mom is supposed to behave, we become triggered and dump unresolved real world mom issues onto our older friend. We may become harshly critical and need to tell others that the friend isn\u2019t safe. In both instances we maintain an internal stance of victimage. We often avoid taking our emotional charges back to the historic events that caused them and thereby separating the past\u2019s emotional charge from the present. We fail to release the repressed emotional energy and hypervigilance that gives rise to our emotional flashbacks. Further, we never work out our relationships with the people with whom we need to work them out, and thereby prevent them from growing into healthy, more complete relationships. We never learn to set healthy boundaries, or learn to communicate our way through conflict in ways that are affirming for each participant. In effect, we continue to stay small as gossip and criticism makes our meetings unsafe and perpetuates a lack of safety in our psyches.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><u style=\"-webkit-text-decoration-skip:none; background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration-skip-ink:none; text-decoration:underline; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Name Calling<\/u><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">: \u201cAnyone who thinks that perpetrators need to be forgiven has their heads up their butts.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><u style=\"-webkit-text-decoration-skip:none; background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration-skip-ink:none; text-decoration:underline; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Criticizing<\/u><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">: \u201cIn terms of another person\u2019s share, ignoring your inner children is just wrong.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">(after another\u2019s share about being LGBTQIA): \u201cI believe homosexuality is wrong because the Bible\/Koran\/Torah tells me this.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><u style=\"-webkit-text-decoration-skip:none; background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration-skip-ink:none; text-decoration:underline; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Gossip<\/u><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">: \u201cJoe\/Jane wrote me, \u201c_____________________________.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cThere are a lot of people in SIA who think _______________, and I\u2019m tired of listening to this stuff.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><u style=\"-webkit-text-decoration-skip:none; background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration-skip-ink:none; text-decoration:underline; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Conflicts with other SIA members<\/u><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">: \u201cThe moderator of the ll:00 P.M. open share meeting reread a safety guideline after my share, and I hadn\u2019t crossed the guideline and it made me real angry at them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cThere\u2019s a member of another SIA meeting who yells at me whenever I share that the former President of the United States reminds me of my perpetrator because he never seems to listen to those who disagree with him.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><u style=\"-webkit-text-decoration-skip:none; background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration-skip-ink:none; text-decoration:underline; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Name Calling<\/u><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">: \u201cI often think I may have my head up my butt if I forgive my perpetrators.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><u style=\"-webkit-text-decoration-skip:none; background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration-skip-ink:none; text-decoration:underline; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Criticizing<\/u><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">: \u201cIgnoring one\u2019s inner children is wrong. It\u2019s hurt me more times than I can remember.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><u style=\"-webkit-text-decoration-skip:none; background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration-skip-ink:none; text-decoration:underline; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Gossip<\/u><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">: \u201cI become bothered when I hear . . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><u style=\"-webkit-text-decoration-skip:none; background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration-skip-ink:none; text-decoration:underline; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Conflicts with other SIA members<\/u><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">: \u201cWhen someone thinks I crossed a safety guideline and I think I didn\u2019t, I feel anger towards them.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cThe President of the United States reminds me of my perpetrator because he never seems to listen to those who disagree with him.\u201d<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Diretriz 8: Anonimato<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">N\u00e3o quebramos o anonimato sobre o que foi compartilhado na reuni\u00e3o fora da reuni\u00e3o, ou vice-versa.<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Explanation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Everyone of us deserves anonymity. Each of us is allowed to share who we are without worrying about others\u2019 responses to us. Moreover, the only one who has a right to share their story with others is the person to whom the story belongs. Although we learn to no longer isolate and experience life challenges by ourselves, the very fact that we can count on others at meetings to respect our privacy is key to building internal and external safety and trust. It\u2019s difficult for safety and trust to grow because many of us were repeatedly shamed by our abusers when they told stories about us to other family members and friends. That is why this safety guideline exists. Further, if you wish, feel free to let SIA group members know that if they run into you outside of meetings, when you\u2019re with other people, if you want them to say hi, or acknowledge you.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Landline Phone messages: <\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cHi it\u2019s Jill calling from SIA\/program. Can I speak with Beth?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Outside on side walk when SIA member is with someone else:<\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\"> \u201cHi Joe, it\u2019s good to see you outside of an SIA meeting.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Landline Phone messages: <\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cHi this is Jill. May I speak with Beth?\u201d<\/span><br>\n<strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Outside on side walk when SIA member is with someone else:<\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\"> \u201cHi Joe, good to see you.\u201d&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Diretriz 9: Sem conversas cruzadas<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">N\u00e3o falamos de forma cruzada, o que inclui:<\/span><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u25cf No interrupting while others speak<\/span><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u25cf No commenting on what others have said when it is our turn to share<\/span><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u25cf No giving advice or attempting to comfort others<\/span><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Observa\u00e7\u00e3o: Usar o nome de outra pessoa ao agradec\u00ea-la por sua participa\u00e7\u00e3o n\u00e3o \u00e9 considerado conversa cruzada.<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">No Interrupting<\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">:<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">This safety guideline exists because many survivors were constantly interrupted when speaking by caregivers and those who abused them. Interrupting a share at a meeting can be highly triggering as a result. Note, if a person is breaking a guideline the meeting secretary or host may need to jump in if people in the room are becoming triggered, rather than waiting until the person finishes their share. This type of interruption only occurs though if the person sharing is being highly explicit and violating guideline 1, or if the graphic details of abuse are very vivid and no trigger warning was given. Also, if another\u2019s share is exceeding the time limit by more than half a minute, it is alright to interrupt so that one person does not dominate the sharing time.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">No Commenting on Another\u2019s Share:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Growing up, many survivors were repeatedly ridiculed for their opinions and ideas. Often children were told their ideas were wrong, and that only their abusers knew what was right. Further, it is also common that survivors were hurt and punished verbally, physically and sexually directly after their abusers made comments about the survivor\u2019s words or actions. This is why we avoid commenting on others\u2019 shares and using their names when we share.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">No Giving Advice or Attempting to Comfort Others<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Again, we don\u2019t give advice or touch others to provide comfort without asking for permission first. Growing up, survivors are often told what to do or not do, which is why unsolicited advice can be highly triggering, and cause already stirred-up individuals to feel that the person offering advice is behaving abusively.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">We don\u2019t attempt to comfort others by commenting on shares after intense emotions are expressed because many times survivors feel they\u2019re being told to be quiet, get over it, or feel that they\u2019re being pitied. Sometimes, offering a tissue without asking can feel like being told to go away, or being told to become silent. Moreover, sometimes the person who wants to give comfort is doing so codependently in order to silence the sharer\u2019s feelings because the person offering the comfort doesn\u2019t wish to experience their own discomfort. Sadly, comforting can be triggering for yet another reason: often survivors did receive some comfort. The enabling parent or non-sexually abusive parent may have offered comfort, but then didn\u2019t stop the abuse from continuing to occur. Alternately, if one\u2019s abuser was multiple or severely fragmented internally, the same abuser may have at one moment abused the child and then, after switching to an alternate personality, comforted the child. Further, many survivors whose abuse was not physically painful, may have felt their abuser loved them or cared about them, and that they\u2019d lose their abuser\u2019s affection if they stopped the abuse or spoke up about it. For all these reasons, comforting\/caretaking can be triggering and that\u2019s why we avoid it.&nbsp; Please note, we can ask for permission to provide comfort between shares or after a meeting, but comforting does not occur without permission being granted by the potential recipient. Of course, long-time SIA friends may choose to dispense with this idea as they have come to feel safe and comfortable in their relationship, but even if this happens it\u2019s okay for survivors to say, \u201cToday, ask for permission before offering comfort.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">No Interrupting:&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cQuit moaning and groaning.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re breaking a safety guideline.\u201d \u201cYou don\u2019t know what you\u2019re talking about.\u201d \u201cStop talking, you\u2019re way past the time limit.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">No Commenting on Another\u2019s Share:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI don\u2019t sweat small stuff any more like a newcomer.\u201d (after a newcomer has just shared)<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cIf I was Steve, this is what I\u2019d do . . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">No Giving Advice or Attempting to Comfort Others:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cWhat I\u2019d do if I was faced with Bell\u2019s work situation is . . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cOh, here\u2019s a tissue. You look like you could use one.\u201d (or offering tissues without being asked and saying nothing).<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">No Interrupting:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cJim\/Jane, I need to jump in and reread a safety guideline as a reminder, \u201c. . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">(moderator\/host\/secretary shares this. If the appointed person doesn\u2019t share any member may ask the person whose responsibility it is reread the guideline, \u201cCould the secretary please reread Guideline 1.\u201d)&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI remember how many stories I made up about my life because of my abuse. One of the negative messages I often told myself was . . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cA gentle reminder, the time limit for sharing is 5 minutes, and your time expired more than half a minute ago.\u201d&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">No Commenting on Another\u2019s Share:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cWhen I first came in the doors to SIA, my universe was rocked because suddenly all these repressed emotions started to emerge. As a result, simple tasks became impossible to complete and I was constantly in a panic as a result.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI identify with how difficult making healthy decisions can be. When I\u2019m having difficulty making healthy choices I . . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">No Giving Advice or Attempting to Comfort Others:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI identify with tough choices at work. As a survivor I become easily triggered there due to my authority issues. When I become triggered at work, I\u2019ve learned to . . .\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cI\u2019d be happy to get you a tissue if you\u2019d like one.\u201d \u201cMay I offer you a safe hug of support?\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><br>\n<strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Diretriz 10: Gatilhos<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">We attend meetings with the awareness that we may be triggered.&nbsp;We avoid turning the present into the past. Other Survivors&#8217; words, vocal tones, and responses may make us feel that we are dealing with perpetrators. Therefore, we caution Survivors not to treat other Survivors as if they are abusers. If someone in the virtual room is triggering, we&nbsp;learn to deal with the evoked emotions responsibly by stepping away from our electronic devices when needed, setting boundaries with anyone who triggers us, taking evoked feelings back to the original abuse experiences, comforting our inner children, and refraining from acting upon the desire to gossip that may arise due to being triggered by a fellow survivor.<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Explanation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">As survivors there is no way to avoid being triggered at SIA meetings. At times others stories and experiences will help us to feel closer to others and not alone. At other times, when survivors share experiences and feelings, the act will open up doorways to our feelings. We will feel what we felt in the past. Hypervigilance may be activated; PTSD responses may occur. At these times it\u2019s important that we learn to care for ourselves in healthy, supportive ways. When triggered and lost in emotional flashbacks and\/or PTSD experiences it\u2019s easy to turn safe others into potential abusers, and in turn become emotionally reactive\/abusive in our verbal responses. It\u2019s difficult to focus; it\u2019s difficult to hear clearly and accurately; it\u2019s difficult to remember that we are safe when triggered. At times like this, there are many ways to engage in self-care. If another\u2019s image or vocal quality is disturbing, we mute our electronic devices or turn away from our screens. If in an in-person meeting it\u2019s alright to leave the room to take care of oneself, even if it\u2019s in the middle of a share. Whenever strong feelings occur about the present, there\u2019s a good chance that repressed, unresolved feelings from our abuse are emerging. In SIA we have a saying, \u201cIf it\u2019s hysterical, it\u2019s historical.\u201d In other words, emotions are emerging that had to be stuffed as children, and that were never comforted by our caregivers as they should have been. Thus, it falls on us to learn to comfort ourselves and our inner child(ren). *<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">While it is important to learn to set healthy boundaries with others, in the context of the meeting all of us are equals. Therefore, we learn to take care of ourselves rather than ask others to change their tone of voice, color of clothes they may be wearing, the place that they are communicating from, or the words they use to describe their experiences.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Similarly, if we are going to use graphic\/explicit details, or use four-lettered language we give trigger warnings to assist others with healthy self-care. Recovery is an inside job as some like to say. This means that we cannot control outside situations totally and must learn to show up for the pain that external situations may evoke within us at meetings. If this were not so, SIA would have a Do and Don\u2019t list that literally could be pages in length.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">&nbsp;*&nbsp; &nbsp; See Appendix 8, Step 1<\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">: \u201cLearning to Live with PTSD &amp; Emotional Flashback Triggers Inventory\u201d in the SIA Steps Workbook <\/span><em style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:italic; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Out of the Night, Into the Light <\/em><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">(now available in pre-release) for more information about how to communicate supportively with ourselves when experiencing emotional flashbacks &amp; PTSD triggers.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cYou need to quit looking at me when sharing. It\u2019s abusive.\u201d (said by person who was stared at prior to being abused).<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cYou need to avoid allusions to Christianity.\u201d (said by person who was abused church-going Christians).<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cStop streaming your video from such a messy room (said by a person whose abuser\u2019s home was always messy)<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cShut off your background music because it triggers me (said by a person whose abusers listened to a particular genre of music)<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cWhen people stare at me, I become easily triggered because that\u2019s just what happened almost every time before I was abused.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cAllusions to Christianity trigger me. It\u2019s something I need to work on because I was abused by Catholic priests.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cMessy rooms bother me because the house I was abused in was always messy.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">\u201cClassical music triggers me. My parents always listened to classical music. It\u2019d even be playing sometimes when I was abused.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><br>\n<strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Guideline 11: Safety and Courtesy at Meetings<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">A-In Person Meeting Reading<\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">: No Physical Touch without Permission If you wish to give someone a hug or touch them, please ask that person for permission first.&nbsp; We all have the right to reject physical touch at any time.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">B-Virtual Meeting Reading:<\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\"> Please respect the sharing of others by keeping your device muted when not sharing. Avoid distracting movements\/visual behaviors all can see. Do not use provocative screen saver photos, and do not take screenshots of anyone. Please remember to act as if you are actually present with others in a room.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Explanation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">At 12-step, in-person meetings it\u2019s very common to give hugs. At SIA meetings we do not touch others without asking permission first. Why? Many times, safe, comforting touch preceded sexual abuse incidents. Moreover, when emotionally raw after sharing a painful memory, touch can be highly triggering. Therefore, we do not touch without permission.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">At virtual meetings we keep electronic devices muted except when sharing. Often, it\u2019s difficult for survivors to articulate what they want to share. Unexpected noise, distracting movements, provocative screen savers and recording others without their permission can be both triggering and create confusion during another\u2019s share. Similarly, talking on the phone or to a person in your room while another is sharing at a zoom meeting can also be triggering due to feelings of not being heard. Please stop your live video streaming and keep your devices muted if you need to take care of yourself in ways that may be distracting to the person sharing.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples:&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Repeatedly forgetting to mute, eating during a person\u2019s share without turning off video stream, talking to others in your home while another is sharing without muting, taking pictures, picking your nose, displaying yourself in skimpy attire, and touching others without permission.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples:&nbsp;<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Turning on or off one\u2019s screen saver because one needs to leave one\u2019s computer, answer the door, etcetera.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Asking if touch is okay prior to doing so.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; padding: 14pt 0pt 4pt; text-align: left;\"><br>\n<strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Guideline 12: Maintaining Relationship Boundaries<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">We refrain from making romantic or sexual advances towards any member.<\/span><br>\n&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Explanation<\/strong><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Simply stated, children who are sexually abused need freedom in order to process trauma events and feelings. Moreover, many survivors reenact their abuse by becoming involved in romantic relationships that become abusive. Because of this, any intimation of wanting more than simple friendship can become highly triggering and make meetings feel unsafe.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Infraction Examples: <\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">asking for another member for a date. (none included because there is no safe way to do this)<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.2;  margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Non-infraction Examples: <\/strong><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">One note, this is standard conduct for meetings. That said, there may be an exception. If two survivors are already long-term friends, and both have worked the steps in SIA, and they have both discovered that they\u2019re willing to enter into a romantic relationship, it\u2019s up to those two individuals to make this decision. That said, it\u2019s highly recommended that after such a decision is made, that those two individuals start attending separate SIA meetings. Why? Survivors need safe spaces to process their relationships. Moreover, if the two people are attending the same meeting and are experiencing relationship difficulties with one another or have decided to end the relationship, it can interfere with meeting safety. Often, folks want others to choose sides. Moreover, if the two survivors who are breaking up are at the same meeting and not getting along there, it can make the room feel very unsafe for other survivors because many times it was after parental conflict that abuse occurred.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n<h3 dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 14pt; margin-bottom: 4pt; text-align: left;\"><strong style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:13.999999999999998pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:700; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">O que fazer se as diretrizes para o compartilhamento seguro n\u00e3o forem seguidas<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">We strive for meeting safety with our Guidelines, yet practice grace by providing a protocol for Guideline infractions. When a Guideline has been accidentally crossed or forgotten about, the moderator will come in after the share and gently remind everyone of the guideline by rereading it. Please know this is not being done to shame any individual. Rather, the guideline is being reread to help everyone learn about how to communicate safely with other survivors.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">If the same guideline is repeatedly crossed, a Group Conscience Safety Check may occur.<\/span><br>\n<span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">We recognize that there may be situations not covered by these Guidelines. When situations occur that repeatedly create a lack of safety on the line, or when a member continues to cross existing guidelines repeatedly, the person creating disruptions may be asked to leave until such a time as the individual is able to own their behavior and agree not to engage in this behavior again at SIA WSC virtual meetings.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><span style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Lastly, a gentle reminder: as survivors we may walk into this meeting feeling dissociated, triggered, emotionally raw, vulnerable, devastated, and confused. When enforcing these guidelines, we need to be gentle with each other and ourselves.<\/span><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/div>\n\n<p dir=\"ltr\" style=\"line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt; text-align: left;\"><em style=\"background-color:transparent; color:#000000; font-family:arial,sans-serif; font-size:12pt; font-style:italic; font-variant:normal; font-weight:400; text-decoration:none; vertical-align:baseline; white-space:pre-wrap\">Originally adopted 9\/10\/21, updated guideline 12 in 2022 by SIA WSC group conscience<\/em><\/p>\n\n<div style=\"text-align: left;\">&nbsp;<\/div>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Download the 12 Abbreviated Guidelines pdf here.  <a href=\"\/product\/contribution\">Please contribute if you can; every little bit helps survivors<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A Note About This Document This safety training document has been prepared by members of the SIA World Service Conference 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