When we are new in SIA, we often say, “I’ll never con­front. “I don’t want to hurt them.” “They are old now.” “Why bring it up?” “It hap­pened a long time ago.” “I have to understand that s/he was sick and there­fore isn’t responsi­ble for what he did.” “My mother­/­father is weak and cannot han­dle all this tension.” “S/He was an alcoholic. I’m afraid if I talk about the abuse, s/he will lose his sobri­ety.” In SIA, no one is told s/he must confront her/­his abuser. As a part of our recovery pro­cess, we may want to con­front because our needs often change as we detach and be­come more indepen­dent.