Survivors of Incest Anonymous 



We Define Incest Very Broadly

     
       

for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse

 

HOW THIS MEETING WORKS.

 

Ø  Business Meeting Process: The Secretary facilitates these meetings.  It will take place the 1st meeting of every month, from 8:15 – 8:30

1.     Treasurer’s Report. 

2.     Ask for a new chairperson for that month if no one has signed up yet.

3.     Vote to fill other roles at the end of each quarter.

4.     Secretary tells the group about decisions made at previous business meeting that affects this one.  E.g., Business topics tabled until this time, deadlines set on projects, etc.

5.     Read the full “Business Meeting Process” (this section) out loud to the group.

6.     If you have an issue that you feel the safety of the group, use the Safety Issue Guidelines in this binder to address it, rather than a business meeting.

7.     Brainstorm a list of possible topics for agenda.

8.     Prioritize topics by show of hands.  (each person can vote for ½ of the topics)

9.     All have a chance to share their opinion on the top voted topic. 

10.  One person can make a motion to propose a change.  (Ask if anyone else has an opinion before the motion is seconded.) If another person seconds it the group votes.  A majority vote puts the proposal into reality. 

11.  Once the 15 minutes are up the topics not addressed are tabled unless a majority vote chooses to continue on for up to another 15 minutes.

12.  The group can also vote to meet for a longer period of time on another day to get more business done. (e.g., 2 hours on a Saturday working on topics too lengthy to discuss in 15 minutes.)

13.  Close with the Serenity Prayer.

14.  After the meeting the secretary writes the minutes into the Minutes section.

Ø  Chairing the Meeting: Volunteers will sign up to chair for a month.  If they are not able to make a particular meeting they should call other members to find a replacement.

Ø  A Group Inventory will be started the first meeting of every February to ensure the safety and effectiveness of our meetings.  A group conscience can vote to do a Group Inventory whenever it might be helpful.  See the “Group Inventory Process – NE SIA” in this notebook & in the “GSR Kit – Master”.

Ø  Anyone can ask for a Group Conscience at any time.  The secretary facilitates this process.  If someone seconds the need for the Group Conscience at this time, then a majority vote is needed to open discussion.  An amount of time for that discussion should be chosen before beginning to talk.

Ø  The contact person here at the [deleted for the safety of survivors] We pay $20/month in rent by check made out to [deleted]

Ø  Information about this meeting can be gained at NewEnglandSIA@aol.com, or calling [deleted]

Ø  FYI: The church is closed on holiday Mondays.


Ø  Speaker Meeting: The chairperson invites a member with a minimum of 3 months in SIA to speak equally among the following 4 suggested topics.  They can use the questions to help get them started.

1.  Experience:

Ø What abuse have you survived?

2.  Affects:

Ø How has the abuse affected you?

3.  Strength: 

Ø What insights/strengths/support have you gained in SIA?

Ø What examples of improvement in your life can you give to show this?

4.  Hope:

Ø What further benefits do you expect/hope to gain from attending SIA?

Ø What are your recovery goals, and how do you plan to attain them?

5.  After speaking, please pick a topic for the rest of the meeting.


Service Role Definitions

Chairperson: 

Ø  Facilitates the meetings using the Meeting Format as a guide.

Ø  Invites someone to speak about experience, strength and hope for the 4th meeting of the month.  Speakers should be in SIA for at least 3 months & have not been a speaker for at least 6 months.

Secretary:   (minimum 6 months in SIA)

Ø  Facilitates the business meetings. (See “How this Meeting Works” bullets 1 and 2 for that process.)  The secretary can ask former secretaries or others to facilitate for her if she is not able to attend.

Ø  Write/type decisions made during business meetings in Minutes & insert in notebook.

Ø  Facilitates a Group Conscience when it is called.

Ø  Describe business meeting decisions during Announcements the next few meetings.

Ø  Pass on this information to the next person in this role.

Treasurer:  (minimum 6 months in SIA)

Ø  Collects, keeps safe, and tracks the weekly contributions in the Minutes section. 

Ø  Pays the monthly rent (can pay once at the beginning of the quarter for all 3 months)

Ø  Gives Literature person money for literature.

Ø  Sends money to the SIA WSO (World Service Organization) & Intergroup as the group decides.

Ø  Gives a Treasurer’s report at each business meeting about how much money the group has and recent expenditures.

Ø  Pass on this information to the next person in this role.

Literature:  (minimum 3 months in SIA)

Ø  Keeps track of what literature the group currently has.

Ø  Orders new literature as the group decides (or as individuals donates money for).

Ø  Maintenance of literature in box.

Ø  Pass on this information to the next person in this role.

Group Rep.:  (minimum 6 months in SIA)

Ø  Communicates on behalf of the group with SIA WSO, the Intergroup and the host church.

Ø  Attends Intergroup Meetings (or asks the Alternate Group Rep. to attend)

Ø  Reports to the group information from WSO and Intergroup

Ø  Copy new meeting lists as they come out and keep them supplied.

Ø  Pass on this information to the next person in this role.

Assistant Group Rep.:  (minimum 3 months in SIA)

Ø  Assists the Group Rep in her/his duties


Service Sign Up Sheet

Group Rep. (rotate yearly):  2005:  [deleted] is Alternate Group Rep

Group Contacts:  [deleted] (There is no rotation for the sake of consistent communication with World Service Office and new members. )

2006 Chair & Group Role Sign Up Sheet

rent pd

Chair person: (change monthly)

Group Roles (change quarterly)

$ & initials

1st Quarter

January:

Secretary:

February:

Treasurer:

March:

Literature:

$ & initials

2nd Quarter

April:

Secretary:

May:

Treasurer:

June:

Literature:

$ & initials

3rd Quarter

July:

Secretary:

August:

Treasurer:

September:

Literature:

$ & initials

4th Quarter

October:

Secretary:

November:

Treasurer:

December:

Literature:

2007 Chair & Group Role Sign Up Sheet

rent pd

Chair person: (change monthly)

Group Roles (change quarterly)

$ & initials

1st Quarter

January:

Secretary:

February:

Treasurer:

March:

Literature:

$ & initials

2nd Quarter

April:

Secretary:

May:

Treasurer:

June:

Literature:

$ & initials

3rd Quarter

July:

Secretary:

August:

Treasurer:

September:

Literature:

$ & initials

4th Quarter

October:

Secretary:

November:

Treasurer:

December:

Literature:


 

Safety Issue Guidelines

If someone has a concern about an issue that may be a danger to group safety (e.g., a member might violate a perpetrator rule or talks inappropriately in the meeting) they can take the following steps.

If someone is very disruptive skip to step 3, but take the break immediately allowing newcomers to leave and holding the Group Conscience right afterwards.

1.              If not immediately disruptive, then after the meeting, ask another group member who was present, preferably one of the “old timers” (someone with substantial recovery), their opinion on the issue to gain a different perspective.  If this doesn’t alleviate your concerns go to step 2.

2.              Ask an old timer of the group if they will mediate a discussion with you and the member you see as threatening the safety of the group.  The mediator must try to be neutral on the issue and work to ensure that both parties are able to express their perspectives in a respectful manner.
Ask the person you’re concerned about if they would be willing to talk with you within the next week, with the mediator present. (Or later if you both want to wait longer.)  Both people can bring one other person to the mediation for support if they want.
Seek clarification before accusing.  If you can, stay open to the possibility that you may have misunderstood the situation until after you’ve talked.
If you’re not satisfied with their response, and feel that having them in the group may hinder other’s recovery tell the mediator that you want to have a Group Conscience to discuss that at the next meeting.

3.              During announcements ask for a Group Conscience on a Safety Issue after the break.  If a majority vote supports it, the Secretary, or an old timer, should suggest that newcomers (who are not involved) may want to skip that part of the meeting as it is not easy to endure.

4.              Group Conscience regarding potential Safety Issue:
To respect all group members, one person speaks at a time when called upon by the old timer facilitating the Group Conscience.

a.     All members who were present when the potential safety issue” occurred (e.g., disruption of meeting, inappropriate cross talk, admitting to current perpetration or discussing past perpetrating acts, etc.) can share their perspective of what occurred.

b.     Other members can share their thoughts and feeling about the issue.  Everyone must have the opportunity to share if they desire.

c.     Someone can make a motion on how to respond to the issue at hand.  Possible motions might be:

·      To drop the matter and consider it over and done.

·      To set a boundary that if the person who did the “safety issue” does it again, they will not be permitted to attend the meeting any more.

·      To bar the person who did the “safety issue” from attending the meeting any more.

·      Etc.

d.     Close the meeting with the Serenity Prayer.

God/Higher Power,

Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the Courage to change the things I can,

and the Wisdom to know the difference.


 

© 2007 Survivors of Incest Anonymous
All rights reserved.  Permission to reprint granted only in writing.


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